


induction to the lonely hearts club is as easy as a snip

by owlvsdove



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:07:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3939679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlvsdove/pseuds/owlvsdove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jemma offers to cut Kara's hair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	induction to the lonely hearts club is as easy as a snip

 

_This has become something of a ritual_ , Jemma says to her; and though it doesn’t really convince Kara, the deep, needy tug to reclaim something of herself wins out.

May has the steadiest hands and is probably the most eager to differentiate the two of them, but she stands back, leaning against the wall. Kara can see her in the mirror, watching impassively, and she tries not to let that make her nervous. Skye sits on the floor, dusts off her hands from the general uncleanness of the tile, and tries not to seem too interested. Bobbi comes in, too. Kara ignores her.

But Jemma’s the one with the scissors, laying out her supplies carefully on the bathroom counter.

“So,” Jemma says, running her fingers through Kara’s locks, watching her in the in mirror. “What do you want to do?”

Kara opens her mouth, closes it.

The room is still, tepid like the air in a dream. It’s a miracle, if such a thing exists anymore, that Kara ever has a grip on reality.

Skye speaks, but really it’s just a voice from the floor.

“I just had to get rid of some of it, you know?” The floor says. “Felt like another thing weighing me down.”

Jemma’s gone misty and far away in the mirror behind Kara, but really it’s just a detached breath near her ear, whispering. “Like it belonged to someone I couldn’t be anymore.”

The world is quiet. May says nothing – she’s done the phase where she tears her own hair out, claws at her scalp, digs into her brain, gray matter under her fingernails.

“I’ve always liked your hair, Kara.” The window is murmuring to her. The blonde-locked, cutting-eyed window. The betraying window.

_Grant likes my hair_ , she almost says. But her tongue is reluctant to set these women on fire, to wave them away. And something stops her from throwing spite like acid towards Agent Barbara Morse.

Every single one of these women congregated in the subpar bathroom on the SHIELD base from another era, and they are here in deference for a ritual Kara hasn’t ever heard of but was invited to immediately.

It doesn’t make sense.                                                                                                 

Grant’s never spoken ill of Jemma – never spoken of Skye at all. He takes his shots at May in public, to stoke ire, but Kara gets the feeling he’s just rather impressed. That’s what she knows of the three women that made up Grant’s fake family.

When Grant tried to brief her on Bobbi, Kara just held up a hand to stop him. No information necessary.

Bobbi is a familiar animal.

Or at least, she’s supposed to be familiar.

“You don’t have to do anything, Kara,” Jemma says, and she pushes the scissors farther away on the counter. “It was just an idea.”

Kara stands clumsily, quickly, startling the group – although they’re not the type to show it. She grabs the scissors, and it’s to Jemma’s credit especially that she does not back away when Kara steals herself a weapon.

She approaches the mirror slowly, until her hips are pressed squared against the cold ceramic of the sink, and then she pushes farther until she’s breathing into her own reflection. No one else can be seen in the mirror but her.

She pulls a thick lock of hair, a piece that frames her face, and cuts it decisively, angrily. Dark strands fall gracefully into the sink. She stares into her own eyes and she refuses to look away. The light above her head sets her in amber. Outside the window it is dark and starry, and inside it is stormy and wet. But in her eyes, she seems pure yellow.

She backs up from the mirror, setting the scissors down gingerly.

“I don’t think this is gonna work for me,” she says, head bent, cheek pressed to shoulder sheepishly. But Jemma smiles a little at her.

“That’s okay, Kara.”

Skye stands up, dusts the bathroom dust off her pants. “You don’t have to be like us to be here.”

They’re being so nice. Not in the cloying, condescending way that treats her like a fragile egg. Just nice in the way that says _we don’t understand, but we sort of_ do _understand._

“I don’t know if I’m still a SHIELD agent.” It feels like an admission of guilt.

May leaves her post in the back to approach her. “No one here is trying to tell you what you are. We’re just here to show you that if you want, you can be one again.”

Kara looks the woman in the eye. For a dark period in her life, this was the face that looked back at her in the mirror. Scarred and angry, but it was this face.

This was the face she wore.

This is the face Melinda May wears all the time.

Kara nods. She doesn’t want to say yes to them; there’s still a bitter part of her that doesn’t want to give back in to the endless machinations of the system. But even Grant fell in love with these people. It shouldn’t be a crime if she wants to, too.

“Thank you,” Kara says.

Melinda says nothing, looking down. It almost looks like guilt. Kara appreciates the expression nonetheless.

“Well,” Jemma says, clasping her hands together audibly, trying to clear the room of any strangled feelings. “Who wants a drink?”

“Please,” May mutters, opening the bathroom door and leading the way.

Skye shoots a look at Jemma. “Operation Get May Drunk, Phase 4?”

“Trial 16,” Jemma confirms. Then she looks back. “Bobbi?”

Bobbi eyes Kara hesitantly. “Maybe just one,” she says neutrally, but it’s a question, and she’s asking in the only way she knows how.

Kara used to speak this language. “Lead the way.”

And the agents file out of the bathroom one by one.

 


End file.
